Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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