Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
