Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
