I wish my penis had an off switch
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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