It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
