I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
