i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
