What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
