I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
