Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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