where does the pee come out of this thing
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
