yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
