I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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