Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
God I need to hump something, right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
