Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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