i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
