I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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