Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
