i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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