Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
