i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
