Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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