Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
