Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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