i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I lost the right to judge tonight
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
