I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
