After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
