i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize