He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We got so high we made milksteak
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
