there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
