please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
