I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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