We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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