This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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