EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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