tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
