I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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