The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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