evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
