is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Actions speak louder than pants.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
