so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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