i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize