Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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