yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
