I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
