she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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