just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
