i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
