Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
