I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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