You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
