This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tonight lets celebrate not being married
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
