So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
