oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
